Dating chat – being mysterious
Think about how many times you have heard the expression “mysterious stranger”. Think about how many times you have heard someone say ” I really want to get to know you more”. People are attracted to mystery. Being enigmatic, in other words, not knowing what makes a person tick. Not knowing their thoughts. Not knowing everything about them provokes instant challenge. A mysterious stranger is an attractive person. You want to know more, you want to gain their attention you want to be known to them. Someone you can read like an open book lacks that essential quality and is therefore less attractive at first glance.
To be successful and attractive when dating it pays to keep something in reserve. A busy person is an attractive person because their life appears to be full, but you don’t actually know that. You simply wish to know more. And in trying to know more, you find an interest level that you didn’t find in those that offer you everything on a plate.
An enigmatic man has an air of mystery. An enigmatic woman has the same. Your desire quotient is increased significantly if you don’t allow everything in your head to spill out to anyone within earshot. Mystery is a challenge and we know that challenge is inherent in many dating scenarios. By being a challenge to someone who wants to get to know you and by making them work for it, so your chances of success in the dating game are so much higher.
People often say that they meet someone when they least expected it. This is partly because by being busy with their every day routine they didn’t notice that someone had taken an interest in them. This is often in part because you are busy. You are promoting an air of desirability because there is a mystery to you. Your life seems full and they are interested. They want to know more about you.
It is worth noting however that enigma and mystery are very different from being stubborn and moody. Not knowing about your life and what makes you trick is one thing. Being downright secretive is something completely different.
Here are some key tips to being enigmatic and mysterious:
At work or with friends, don’t bore the office with every opinion you can muster.
Always keep something back when relating a story – why and how and when are details for later
Don’t announce every plan you make. Keep some things to yourself for a while
Do not phone people, let them call you
Don’t always return calls and never instantly
Keep your private life private. It is not open for general discussion and debate
Don’t be too available but don’t explain why you are not available either
Keep people guessing
Making interested parties think they are no the only person interested in you ups the ante and increases your desirability
Don’t reply to emails and text messages at weekends
If you are using a dating service, don’t reply to emails and messages at weekends
Be busy without giving details of what you are doing
Break plans occasionally without giving too much away
When you do meet up be entertaining and fascinating without giving every detail away
Never discuss ex partners and refuse to be drawn on the subject
Use an evasive enigmatic smile to answer questions to great effect
Even when people beg you to know more, keep them guessing
Never be too available, your diary is always semi-full as far as anyone is concerned
Mention you were with ‘some people’ but say little else on the subject when relating a tale
Let people do the running and don’t do the chasing unless necessary
Have different groups of friends who you don’t mix together
To be highly effective, create the desire initially then ration it afterwards. They will treat you like a drug, craving more due to the great times they have when they do eventually get to see you
Learn key expressions like “oh I have been really busy”, “wow its been crazy”, “I have lots of plans this week”, “my diary is really full” and “Oh I have been doing so many things” without giving more away
Be a challenge and never be an open book. Make people work to get to know you
Being mysterious takes practice and takes time to get right. Once you do so and are comfortable in not being in constant communication with people they will soon desire to know more. It is a fine balancing trick however because if you are too evasive, people will tire of you and move on.
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